Only A Cousin
by FutureRust
Summary: Bride Bettany reflects on her relationship with Sybil Russell. Takes place during the Plas Howell era.


"_You're _only a cousin! David an' me _belong_!"

Prim thinks I must have gone mad. "How could you?" she asks reproachfully when we are alone. "She's so awful to you and then you defend her when people say things to her."

Prim won't understand; I know this because I have tried to explain before. I have to defend her, she's family and that means a lot in spite of everything. Through defending her I am defending my aunt and, in a roundabout sort of way, myself. I can't just leave her to fend for herself. It's different for Prim, she lives with Auntie Jo so there's a distance between them. I wish I had that distance too.

I wish Mummy and Dad would come back. I have a favourite daydream, one in which they arrive unexpectedly and catch her in the middle of a tantrum. They drag her off to Uncle Jem to be punished and then whisk us away to live with them in a lovely house all of our own. I've never told anyone else about this dream, I don't think they'd approve, not even Rix.

Peggy says we shouldn't react when she makes us angry. She says we're older and we should set a good example. But Peg never gets angry, it's easier for her. Rix says it's better that we say something. He says that we're strong people, me and him, and we don't get hurt by her words, not badly hurt like some people might. He says we should stand up for ourselves and put her in her place and that might stop her being so nasty. He never says that to Peg.

Most of the time she bosses us about and makes threats, 'put my toys away for me or I'll tell Mummy to send you away', that sort of thing. Sometimes I just think she's being silly, but sometimes I wonder if she might and what would happen to us if Auntie Madge did send us away. Worst of all, she says we're 'only cousins' and we don't belong with Auntie Madge and Uncle Jem at all. That's a really spiteful thing to say, because if we don't belong at the Round House, where do we belong? In India, with Mummy and Dad? We can't belong there because it isn't suitable for British children and that's why we went to live with Auntie Madge in the first place. Maeve and Maurice are only there because of the stupid war. There's Auntie Bridgie in Ireland but we've only ever had holidays there and I don't think we belong there with her. We can't belong with Auntie Jo because we're just cousins there too. It's a horrible feeling and Sybs knows it upsets us.

Auntie Madge never seems to notice how cruel Sybil is to us at times, or how she deliberately tries to infuriate me and Rix (Peg would never rise, no matter what she said, and Jackie just doesn't have enough of a temper). Rob noticed it when she lived with us and so did Auntie Jo, they would put her in her place whenever they felt it necessary. Things became a lot harder once Auntie Jo married and Rob, Daisy and Prim went to live with her.

I asked Peggy once why Sybil hated us.

"She doesn't hate us," she said, very seriously. "You mustn't say such things, Bride."

"Then why is she so nasty to us?"

"Because she wants it to be just her and Auntie Madge and Uncle Jem and David and Josette."

"I don't think she really wants Josette."

Peg ignored this. "Don't you wish that it was just us and Mummy and Dad living together?"

"Yes, but mostly because Sybs is so horrible."

I wish David would take Sybs down a few pegs. He's never mean to us and he and Rix are really pally. When Sybs turns nasty, he looks embarrassed and sometimes he tells her to shut up but he never really defends us. Maybe if he said something she'd listen to him.

Prim thinks that if I'm nice to Sybs and I stand up for her at school, she'll never stop being so mean to me. I'm not so sure. It's true that Sybs isn't a very nice person sometimes, she gets into rows with people for no reason at all and then people make comments about how she thinks she's someone because she's Madame's daughter. I don't think Auntie Madge has anything to do with it, I think it's just the way Sybil is and I always end up defending her, even when she doesn't deserve it. I have plenty of friends and I know it won't affect my popularity. Secretly there is that little glimmer of hope that one day I'll step in when she's arguing with someone, save her from getting into trouble and for a second she'll look at me with respect, or with gratitude, and there will be a bond between us, we'll be family. It's never happened yet and Prim says it never will.

"It'll take a really bad row to make Sybil change," she says shrewdly. "She's used to getting things her own way and the adults will only sit up and take notice if she does something really awful."

Personally I think she already has, but I'm not going to tell tales.


End file.
